Over the past three years, I’ve ranted about everything on this blog from Australian people to car air fresheners. I’ve also found time to get upset about haemorrhoids, Kate Humble, fabric conditioner, fisherman’s friends, sitka spruce trees and the fact that, as a society, we expect to pay less than £3 for an oven ready chicken. It’s amazing I’ve found time to even see a black grouse, let alone try and conserve them.
It occurs to me that I possibly come across as a negative person, and while this is probably true, I don’t want anyone else to know it. In an attempt to dispel the aura of cynical pessimism which sometimes descends on Working For Grouse, here is a brief list of things that I really like. I have omitted grouse and most types of shooting, because they go without saying.
- Frost. Time to go ferreting, walking, wildfowling, stalking or scouting for a fox. Frost is the perfect weather condition.
- Muddy Waters. A sexually hyperactive blues singer.
- Irn Bru. I can drink disgusting amounts of caffeine rich Irn Bru. I also have trouble sleeping. I’ve never put two and two together until I typed that.
- The moon. Needs no introduction. Best seen full in January and May. Much better than the sun.
- Being on dry land. I used to work on a fishing boat in the Outer Hebrides. I never take dry land for granted.
- Stoats, weasels, ferrets, polecats and pine martens. Basically any small cylindrical mammal with a penchant for frenzied acts of manic terrorism.
- Steak and kidney pie. Some people say that it doesn’t taste slightly like urine, but it does. I love it anyway.
- Snipe drumming. The best sound in the world, hands down.
- Bottom. A television programme that has made me laugh almost without interruption since 1995.
- Kudu. The most beautiful animal in the world.
- Hungarian Cooking. It sounds terrible, but there are some real gems in there.
- Hood Bullseye Wellies. Best wellies in the world, sadly discontinued as of this year. Looks like it’s back to a carrier bag tied onto each foot.
So never let it be said that I’m cynical and gloomy. My next post will be about why I hate large crowds of people. Back to normal again.